dream.hope.believe

.... this is my new mantra. My personal inspirational phrase to continue on. This past couple of days I've been feeling icky, sucky and downright sad. I've just been going through some self doubt. You see, one of my major goals for this year is to be a published scrapbook designer. I soooooo want to see my page or project in a magazine page. I've been working hard at this, joining major competitions and making pretty much all the pages I make for the purpose of getting notice. But then Monday, after another rejection, I started doubting my ability to produce that something that will get me in the door with the publishers and editors. I felt stumped, not knowing what I'm doing wrong. Before that day, I felt I had what it takes to be a part of that special and elite group of people that are known in the industry.
I was so sad that I called my mom and being "my mother" she quickly got to the root of my sadness. She said that I, being the impatient person that I am, is just wanting to get ahead of what is planned for me. She also added that maybe this is not your time yet. And it's true but still I felt I have put together a portfolio that's "good" enough.
And then last night I was talking to my sis Gem and she too had wise words for me. I've been wearing a chip off my shoulder thinking I AM good. But then she reminded me that what if in my head I think I AM good but for everyone else I'm not there yet. Kinda tough to swallow but true, so true!
So today, I decided to continue doing what I do bec., first and foremost, it is for my family and nobody else and second because there is still so many things to learn from the artform and the industry. I'm going to stop acting like a "teacher" and start thinking like a "student"! I'm getting off my high horse and will act like a sponge learning everything I can to improve.
So again, my mantra is dream, hope, believe. Cause at the end of the day, that's all I really have to hold on to.

I'm not always this dramatic,
Grace